The Essential Guide to Eragon Mary Sue
by Emerald Tiara
Summary: We've all encountered her. We all have many futile attempts of avoidence to our name. We must learn how to defend ourselves. We must fight! discontinued
1. MarySue Types

**The Essential Guide to Eragon Mary-Sue**

_She was the perfect Dragon Rider  
__On her face was never a frown  
__But she appeared like a disgusting spider  
__When sanity came around_

**Chapter One: Mary-Sue Types**

**Mary-Sue Elven  
**The typical Mary-Sue. She's beautiful, with raven hair, sparkling sapphire eyes, and a curvy figure. She is kind, sweet, generous, yadda yadda yadda. All the wonderful qualities everyone wants. She has powerful magic and can attempt astonishing feats without breaking a sweat.  
**Common?** Quite.  
**Romances? **Eragon.  
**Tragic past?** Sometimes, but rarely.  
**Will she die?** A tragic death, if at all.

**Mary-Sue Varden  
**Her village attacked by Urgals, forcing her to flee to the Varden! She fights alongside the men, because of course _she's_ not afraid of war! She's stoic, battle-hardened; she doesn't stand for any nonsense! People look up to her for guidance, and everyone loves her.  
**Common?** Not as much as Elven.  
**Romances?** Eragon, Murtagh, Vanir (EW…)  
**Tragic past? **Can you read?  
**Will she die?** Oh yeah, most of the time, shot by a stray arrow after defeating the leader of the enemy army. Everyone will cry and a hero's funeral will ensue.

**Mary-Sue Wanderer  
**_Eragon leapt up, sword in hand, as a strange girl approached. She was lean, and carried a large bow in her hand…  
_Yes, Mary-Sue is a wanderer. Her family was tragically killed, her home destroyed. She taught herself how to make a bow, after finding a 'natural talent'  
(translation: she shot an Urgal fifty feet away on her first try) at shooting. She hunts, she fights, and she wins! She knows battle tactics, even though she's never been in a battle before. But why should that be any handicap? After all, this is _Mary-Sue_!  
**Common?** Kind of…no not really.  
**Romances? **Eragon, Murtagh.  
**Tragic past? **No shit.  
**Will she die?** Occasionally. Maybe after an Urgal raid.

**Mary-Sue Princess  
**Quite possibly one of the most-used plots ever, next to Mary-Sue earthling. Galbatorix has somehow managed to have a daughter. Stunningly attractive, she runs away from Uru'baen because she has never been 'free.' Then she somehow meets up with Eragon, and they go off and have many adventures together. Often she will have been best friends with Murtagh.  
**Common? **Yes, very.  
**Romances? **Eragon (never gets a break, does he?); usually she and Murtagh are just friends, although occasionally he comes into play.  
**Tragic past?** She's a princess in Uru'baen, you tell me.  
**Will she die?** Never.

**Mary-Sue Evil  
**She works for Galbatorix secretly, while pretending to be with Eragon and the Varden. She has managed to get past anyone who looks into her mind, because she can shield her mind stronger than anything. Her ultimate goal is to assassinate Eragon/Nasuada/Ajihad and reveal the Varden's plans the Galbatorix. Her seductive charm enables her to get anyone out of her way. She will do anything to carry out her orders, even if it means doing the down-and-dirty or killing someone. Of course she will kill without hesitation. She is beautiful, which goes without saying. Any weapon will work. There are a few times when she will turn to the good side, but this is rare.  
**Common?** Not as much, but there are a few floating around.  
**Romances?** Technically no, because she's never actually in love with the ones she seduces. If she goes good, it will be because she has fallen in love with Eragon against her will.  
**Tragic Past?** Galbatorix will tell her the Varden killed her people; he actually did it.  
**Will she die?** Depends. Maybe she will be killed because she is found out, and will have a tragic execution. Or she'll jump in front of Eragon to stop Galby from killing him.

**Mary-Sue Earthling  
**_The _single-most commonly used character. A girl from Earth, and sometimes her friend, gets transported to Alagaesia via book/jewel/magic talisman/bright flash of light. She instantly knows everything that happens, because she read the book. She can speak the ancient language perfectly. Sometimes she will even use magic. She can annoy the hell out of everyone and not get executed, because she is Mary-Sue Earthling!  
**Common?** Extremely so.  
**Romances?** None, usually. Surprising, huh?  
**Tragic past?** Nope.  
**Will she die?** Oh, never. Remember, she belongs to another world!

**Mary-Sue Dwarvish  
**This is not even a category. Nobody ever writes Mary-Sue Dwarvish.


	2. Plots and Problems

**Wow. You people have been very supportive.**

**Chapter Two: Plots (and problems found within said plots)**

**Where Am I?  
**An Earth girl has fallen into Alagaesia via book/jewel/magical talisman/bright flash of light where, instead of being captured and interrogated, she gains the trust and companionship of Eragon & Co. Sometimes she may be the Only One who can kill ol' Galby. Then it is time for her to return to Earth. There are many tear-filled goodbyes and she is given numerous gifts to take back with her. Gasphorrorshock! Not like we haven't heard _that_ one before!  
**Features: **Earthling Sue  
**Problems found within:** well gee, what do you think?  
**Can it be written with success?** Funny, most of the Earthling Sues I've read have been complete parodies of everything. Occasionally it will follow the plotline. So, depending on the author's sense of humor… yes. It can be written with success.

**You Traitor!  
**Eragon & Co. meet/find stranded in the woods a beautiful girl who remembers 'nothing' of her past. She tags along, giving moral support and encouraging Eragon to storm Galbatorix's castle. When he gets there, it is revealed that gasp! she was working for him all along! Eragon is devastated and eventually killed in action. The girl laughs at his foolishness and rules the world alongside Galby.  
**Features:** Mary-Sue Evil, Mary-Sue Wanderer, occasionally Mary-Sue Varden  
**Problems found within:** Its crap, and its overused. How could she keep hidden for so long without being caught? Someone must have suspected her. But no, Mary is less than perfect? Oh the horror!  
**Can it be written with success?** Rarely, very rarely. The author must have an innate sense of plot development. It's a struggle, but it can be done.

**Which Girl To Choose?  
**While training in Ellesmera, Eragon sees a beautiful young woman with flowing hair, even more gorgeous than Arya. Gasp! She captivates him, until he wants to do nothing more that set up a shrine in her name and worship her. Then he sees Arya! He is torn between the two: The devastatingly beautiful and kind elf or the beautiful stern princess?  
**Features:** Mary-Sue Elven  
**Problems found within:** WAAAY overused. Impossibly unbelievable, and overly clichéd.  
**Can it be written with success?** Let me think…no.

**You Saved My Life…  
**Eragon/Murtagh is trapped, Urgals on every side. He steels himself for death…but wait! Enter Mary-Sue, who kills all the Urgals with not a hair out of place! Eragon/Murtagh is immediately indebted to her and swears he owes her his life and will protect her at all costs. She argues that she certainly doesn't need protection from him! A big fight follows. They kiss and make up. You know how it goes.  
**Features:** Mary-Sue Wanderer, Mary-Sue Varden  
**Problems found within**: It. Has. No. Plot!  
**Can it be written with success?** …Occasionally.

**I Hate You, Daddy!  
**Mary-Sue, in an arranged marriage? Oh no!  
Her father has decided that Mary-Sue is too adventurous and sets up a marriage! This will make her settle down, he thinks. But wait! Mary-Sue refuses? _And_ she loves another? This simply will not do! Mary-Sue is locked up until wedding day. An inescapable situation? Not for Mary-Sue! Just as the I-do's are about to be said, who should storm in but Mary-Sue's beloved! Fighting the guards and soldiers, he sweeps Mary-Sue off her feet and they escape, riding off into the sunset.  
**Features:** Mary-Sue Elven, Mary-Sue Princess  
**Problems found within**: All too predictable. These are usually written after watching Lord of the Rings or The Princess Bride.  
**Can it be written with success?** Oh yes, if you are a Newbury Award winning-author. For fanfic writers? No, not usually.

**You're a Hero!  
**Mary-Sue has defeated Galby, and they find the green egg in the castle! As the hero of the Varden (excuse me while I retch) they present it to her first, and… you guessed it… Mary-Sue becomes the next Dragon Rider! She and Eragon and Murtagh (by now MS has convinced him to be good) go off reorganizing Alagaesia and setting up the new system of leadership. Sometimes, the people of Alagaesia decide that since Mary-Sue is so kind and generous, they want her to rule! Mary-Sue is immediately set up as Queen. She starts making all the necessary improvements, and before long, Alagaesia is the perfect land. And they all lived happily ever after, except for us Mary-Sue haters, who were killed for the treason of detesting our queen. (Not so perfect if they can execute thousands of people, is it?)  
_Side note_: occasionally Mary-Sue will be sent as part of a secret mission into Galby's castle to get the egg, it hatches, and THEN she defeats him.  
**Features: **All.  
**Problems found within: **COMPLETELY and UNBELIEVEABLY unoriginal.  
**Can it be written with success? **If you go into detail and give the girl a legitimate reason for being crowned, maybe. Don't just have her defeat Galby and then stage a three-months-later at the beginning of the next chapter. And CERTAINLY don't use 'and they all lived happily ever after.'

**Happy Reviewing!**


	3. Appearence

**And we're back!**

**Chapter Three: Appearance**

**Because of course she get nowhere without looking perfect.**

**Eyes**

Mary-Sue's eyes are always perfect, never too close or far apart. They are always shining violet, deep sapphire, striking emerald, or rich chocolate brown. Occasionally a dark stormy gray or a cool sea green will appear.

Never is she hazel-eyed, although I myself very much approve of hazel eyes. Also, venturing into the stranger variations, occasionally she will have silver eyes, ice-blue eyes, pale purple eyes, and sometimes all black eyes.

Needless to say, the first thing anyone sees when looking into Mary-Sue's face are her eyes. One flirtatious glance and she can get any guy she wants.

**Hair**

Ah, Mary-Sue's hair. Quite an interesting discussion topic. Her hair is NEVER frizzy, even in the most extreme reaches of humidity of the Hadarac desert. It is usually a deep brown that perfectly matches her eyes, wavy golden locks that fall down to her knees, dark raven that is always perfectly straight and is so black you could drown in it, or flaming, shimmering red curls that fall down her back and are a testament to her fiery temper.

Never does she have dirty blonde hair, because that is sick, wrong, disgusting and evil. And of course, never forget Mary-Sue's incredible hair care treatment, NATURAL! That's right, even though her hair is never out of place, it would appear that this is entirely natural.

Sickening, yes.

**Skin**

Mary-Sue has never one experienced the joy that is pimples. No, she has flawless skin that is either golden brown, ghostly white or creamy pink. Never is it just plain old skin-colored. And it's always perfect. Never a hair on her chin, never a blotchy birthmark…

When she cries, it's always in graceful tears that spill slowly down her cheeks. Her face never gets red and messy. And she thinks this is a curse!

**Chest**

Of course, 300DD breasts are never found on anyone lower than a size 17. However, Mary-Sue is a size 0 and has, in fact, gained 300DD breasts without surgery. This would make anybody else look like a freak of nature, but this is Mary-Sue. She looks stunningly gorgeous and can catch the eye of many an unsuspecting Eragon. These are often a point of shame for Mary-Sue, and she wishes she wasn't so well-endowed. Many would kill for her chest. She would gladly give it up without a second thought.

**Clothes**

Well, depending on the situation, Mary-Sue's clothes either flatter her form outrageously well, or flatter her form unbelievably beautifully. From sweeping ball gowns to battle armor to dreary rags, Mary-Sue always looks outstandingly gorgeous. The clothes match up to the breeds.

_Elven Sue:_ A ravishing purple dress, fitted to within an inch of its life. Usually accompanied by a corset which makes her breasts flair modestly and her waist gather to the width of a water bottle. She will also have light blue eye shadow, with hints of blush and mascara. A touch of lipstick, and she is instantly the most gorgeous elf in Ellesmera.

_Varden Sue:_ Well, she is the perfect daughter, who saved her family and led them to the Varden, so one would assume she wears whatever her parents want, right? Nuh-uh. Mary-Sue Varden wears a tunic and leggings, sometimes battle armor and a shield. The armor fits her perfectly, accentuating her curves and showing off her body.

_Wanderer Sue:_ Wearing leggings and a shirt, she looks beautiful. Gee, ya think? Her clothes are close-fitting, making her look good even (especially?) when fighting for her life. She doesn't believe in dresses, as she thinks they are impractical in battle, but is usually forced to wear one—oh, the horror!—for her award ceremony after saving all of Alagaesia.

_  
Princess Sue:_ A princess should be dressed as one, nay? Princess Sue wears a long gown in dark blue, dark green, red, or aqua. Almost always, the dress is made of velvet or silk. Her long shimmering hair either goes unbound to her waist, or is braided and left to hang. A slight touch of smoky gray/black/brown eyeliner, and we're good to go as the Princess of Alagaesia.

_Evil Sue:_ Anything that shows off her curves. It will usually be black. Her hair is left down. If she wears a dress, it might be red. With her shimmering eye shadow, heavily applied eyeliner that would make anyone else look like a slut (not she!), and shining lip gloss, she's all set to go out killing.

_Earthling Sue:_ Jeans and a T-shirt, what else? Of course the jeans fit perfectly to show off her butt. Sometimes a tank top is involved. Occasionally Mary-Sue is wearing a miniskirt. Much, much jewelry is worn, quite possibly a Tiffany bracelet and some hoop earrings. Shoes could be anything from Ugg boots to sneakers to sandals. Hair is quite usually in a ponytail or just down. Sometimes, however, the girl will simply be wearing a dirty T-shirt and some sweatpants. But she always looks good.

**Coming up next: names and how or why they exist.**


	4. Naming

**Now that we've all sickened ourselves over her perfection, here's some more! And I added another Sue to the Sue guide, so go back to the first chapter and check out Mary-Sue Evil.**

**Chapter Four: Naming**

**Elven Sue:** Elven Sue will have a flowery name, absolutely littered with an exceptionally large number of vowels. The letters _r_ and _l_ will be used quite often, and of course anyone who meets her automatically knows that her name fits her perfectly. Occasionally her name will be a word from the ancient language, meaning 'stars' or 'light.' Will always be accompanied by some sort of nature-y surname, often 'Greenwood' or 'Leaf-Brow.'

**Varden Sue:** much the same as Elven sue, but considerably harder-sounding, like the name has a much more rough sound to it. Occasionally _k_ or _m_ and _t_ show up. Maybe the name will be from the ancient language, meaning 'tough' or 'strong.' Will usually be accompanied by a dangerous-sounding surname, perhaps 'Joysword' or 'Deathblade.' That, or those will be the names of her weapons. Somehow, though, these names end up sounding slightly girlish.

**Wanderer Sue**: see above, but different (sort of). It gives off a definite, unavoidable sound of hardness. The _ar_ sound is used often, but it still manages to sound graceful and elegant. The name ultimately sounds dangerous. Seeing as how she has to avenge her dead family and take on Galbatorix's entire army and all that. Sometimes, if her name is in the ancient language, it will be some word meaning 'death' or 'sorrow' or 'empty' or something like that.

**Princess Sue:** Something beautiful and extremely grand. It will be long, at least three syllables. It sounds exquisite, as is befitting the daughter of the guy whose name has five syllables and the pronunciation of which is in constant debate (isn't it?). Full of vowel sounds, and it all adds up to make a soft-sounding (is that possible?), beautiful name.

**Evil Sue: **see above, but more seductive and threatening, if that's possible. Because seduction is all she does when she's not killing.

**Earthling Sue: **Anything the author wants. It can be just a normal name the author thinks is cool, or a name the author wishes were hers, or even the author's own name. Examples include Sarah, Carmen, Keira, or maybe Saturnina (heh…my own little joke).

**A note on names:** I am generalizing here. It is important to remember that authors have an altogether difficult time naming their characters. I think that while we laugh at the Sues and their existence, we should praise the authors on coming up with the names that are so fun to laugh at. Give them credit for giving us entertainment.

**Also:** some have commented that my characters sound sort of sue-ish. Well, good job, you caught me. I think I have a weakness for writing sues. But hey, compare my flamers with my devoted fans—many would say that I am able to pull it off quite well. Am I bragging? Too bad.

**Short chapter, I know, but that's life.**


	5. Battle Time!

**Yo!**

**Betcha thought I forgot about this story, huh? Not I!**

**Chapter 5: Battle Time!**

It is utterly impossible, and I mean impossible, to write a Sue-Story without a battle. I mean, isn't that just the perfect opportunity to have her become a hero and get awarded her medal by the Varden or whoever? Of course, there's always the option of having her politely back out saying it is improper for women to fight while fluttering her eyelashes threateningly so that Eragon will go risk his life for her.

And what an opportunity! You can even make her get hideously injured without it even leaving a scar that mars her perfect skin! So without further ado, let's get started.

**If she fights:** if she fights, the battle will be hideously drawn out so that it will have time to include all her heroic acts. It will probably take the equivalent of six days, but it'll be squished into one battle. By this time in the story, she'll already be respected in the Varden, so she might be a commander. If the author's on crack, Nasuada will appoint Mary-Sue as her heir instead of Eragon. And who can tell? She might be the one who dives in to save Eragon at the last moment as he is trapped by Urgals and about to be killed. She might even (gasp!) die!

But, you know, probably not.

_Likely to fight_: Earthling Sue, Evil Sue, Wanderer Sue, Varden Sue

**If she doesn't:** She'll demure quite politely and insistently. No one will be able to turn her from her course. They'll sprout such nonsense as "But we need you!" and "We can't win without you!" but of course its just so _unladylike._ She'll watch the battle from afar, wishing she could bite her nails but not wanting to screw up her manicure. Perhaps she'll begin crying as she is helplessly forced to watch the horrible battle, wishing this really bad thing wasn't happening and wondering why everyone can't just be friends?

Maybe her love will be valiantly slain in front of her eyes.

_Likely not to fight_: Princess Sue, Elven Sue

**If she is injured:** Well. This could be its own chapter.

If MS is hurt, she will be fussed over and healed and given emergency medical attention, despite the fact that there are many more people more heavily injured than she.

**If she dies: **The world will be a much better place.


	6. GaryStu

**Okay, I realize that this is normal and wouldn't make much difference anyway, given my updating record, but I will not be here for the next two months until August, because I am just cool like that, I'm going to camp.**

**This is relevant only because it means that I will have a 2-month gap, PLUS the normal time it takes me to update.**

**Chapter 6: Gary-Stu. **

The bane of our existence.

It is rather difficult to write a chapter about Gray-Stu because while less frequent than Mary but still a serious problem, there is not much variety in what one can say about him.

That is, HE IS A TOTAL AND UTTER IDIOT.

Now, for those of us who don't know, a Gary-Stu is the male version of a Mary-Sue, also sometimes known as Marty-Stu.

He can be just as bad, if not worse, but it's often harder to distinguish him in fanfiction because most male authors make their main characters Gary-Stus anyway, almost without really trying. I wonder if it's a conscious thought, or if some divine power is directing them…I digress.

The main kinds of Garys out there are as follows:

**Ultimate Hero Dude:** This is the most common. This is the man who hunts, fights, defends his love and becomes the greatest Dragon Rider of ALL TIME. He is the hero of the Varden, and will probably be chosen to be the next king of Alagaesia after he kills Galbatorix (of course it was Gary), even though Eragon is the main character of the books. Needless to say, he gets all the girls.

**Sorcerer Man: **Well, what does it sound like? The guy who is called on for help with all the complex magical workings, the one who has the utmost mastery of the magic and ancient language enough to rival even the Twins, or Galbatorix himself (this always comes as a surprise to Gary when he first learns this. God forbid he have an ego.), or even Oromis. He knows everything magic-y, can do anything, and is perfectly willing to help out anyone and everything. He would rather die than refuse to help someone even if they are considered 'below him.' Of course.

**Smart-Ass:** The one who knows everything. WAY higher than average IQ, can analyze anything, reads at the speed of light. Basically, the master strategist.

**Fulfiller of the Prophecy™: **What is a Gary-Stu story without a prophecy? Everyone has them, even frickin Harry Potter. Gary here is the one with the Prophecy that he has no idea about, and when he learns about it he is totally overwhelmed, doesn't know what to do, you know the drill. The classic clueless hero.

**Well, that's all for what will probably be a ridiculous amount of time. See ya!**


	7. Roles

**Miss me?**

**It has come to my attention that someone HAS actually written a Mary-Sue Dwarvish, after reading this. She hasn't updated in forever, though. The Sue's name is Orika.**

**I would like to take the time to point you to a much better Sue-critic that I, a livejournal user by name of ****eragonsues****. She once actually pointed out one of mine as a Suefic, but that was back in like, the single-digit chapters. I've gotten much better, I promise!**** (It was Saturnina and Hilaria, for those who care.)**

**I also want to direct you to the following YouTube video: ****http:(slash)(slash)www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch(questionmark)v(equals)ldDpr02g(dash)****TM**

**Chapter Seven: ****Roles**

The following roles are as such:

_That of the author._

The author of a Mary-Sue fanfiction, also called a Suethor, is usually a teenage girl with no life/a boring one, who wishes she were a princess/hero/whatever in a mystical land. For some reason, when critiquing/parodying Suefics, it has become a standard that there shall be hideous grammar and spelling. I dunno why, but that's the way the universe works. Anyway!

The Suethor will claim that her story is the best and there is nothing wrong with her character. It is perfectly normal for no one to challenge a strange girl they just met in the wilderness. Her outlandish looks are perfectly acceptable, you know the drill. The Suethor is ever fated to be eternally flamed, and will be left wondering why people can't just accept her marvelous character as she is.

_That of the reader_.

The unfortunate reader of a Suefic will be someone who either chose to read it, for a laugh, or someone who was ensnared by a disguised summary. The reader will gaze in disbelief at the computer screen, silently laughing incredulously to themselves, because their body simply does not understand how to respond to this. The reader, being the more intelligent of the two, will not flame, flame in this case meaning scream and yell. No, this reader will put in a witty comment with a snide insult hidden between the lines. The Suethor, of course, will take it as a compliment.

Occasionally, though, the reader actually likes the story. Then there is no hope.

_That of the critic._

The critic is the person who takes it upon him or herself to read a Mary-Sue story, and report back on it to others. and thank god they do, because otherwise even more unwary readers would fall into Mary-Sue's traps.


End file.
